The still center of the storm

training our silence muscle

Our world is full of sounds. It is hard to avoid them. We have become so used to
them that, in a way we seem to be addicted to them. We fill our days with sounds, so that the noises can outvoice the constant loud stream of our thoughts. In comes the ‘silence industry’. We book holidays and go to retreats so we can bathe in a ‘well-constructed’ silence. A silence that will help to fuel us up again, so we can go back to our busy lives and handle the noises again.

When we travel, we put in earbuds to listen to podcasts, the news, music and we even watch our series on the go. Just sitting in silence and staring out of the window, let alone talking to fellow travelers, is seen as odd and undesirable. Walking in nature with only the sounds of the wind through the trees, the waves rolling onto the shore or the singing of the birds? These sounds can already be experienced as too ‘still’. And I must confess, I also often listen to a podcast, audiobook, or music while walking. And have you done this lately? Putting the TV on for no reason, just to break the silence?

But still, silence is something so fascinating. Since I studied musicology, I was intrigued by it and tried to find out what composers said about silence and how they use it in their music. It had an enormous attraction for me, but I also feared it at the same time, because the subject was so vast, so elusive, that I dropped my idea of using it as my thesis subject.

When I became a student of A Course in Miracles (ACIM), I immediately saw how often the words peace, stillness and silence appear in the book. And it triggered my fascination for the subject again. The Course asks us all the time, in every lesson, to still our mind. To take a few minutes or even seconds to move toward the still center that is in all of us. In the beginning that can be hard, but we make progress when we just keep doing the lessons every day. To open our mind to a layer of peace that seems deeply hidden, but that we all can reach. When I simply begin to focus on the spaces that can be found in between my thoughts, it can already give me a sense of freedom and relief.

This moving toward peace is one of being in the moment, without the past and future interfering. And when we train this silence muscle it can even bring about something very profound and unexpected! I have had two times in my life when I found myself all of a sudden in an even deeper layer of silence. It happened not while meditating but in a moment of crisis, where I just did not know what to do. The only thing I could do, was use the repetition of some simple Course phrases in my mind, like I rest in God, I want the peace of God or I will forgive and this will disappear. It made me feel calmer soon and it was the only way I could give up all control and totally hand over the situation. I did not see any solution. With that surrender, I seemed to be lifted temporarily above time. A deep sense of peace and a knowing that all was well came over me instantly. And with it came extreme trust and joy. This peace stayed with me for hours or even more than a day. It had nothing to do with the buzz of the world. It probably is what the Course calls a revelation, but it says that it is not really possible to put such an experience into words because it is so personal. And that is absolutely true.

The Course helps us again and again to go into the silence, in our meditation time in the morning as we set the tone for the day, or in the evening. But also, in brief and frequent moments of tuning into stillness during our day. Those moments are very important. It is not necessary to live as a monk and meditate for hours, because A Course in Miracles trains us to find stillness even in our hectic everyday life and to extend that stillness to others: to be in the still center of the storm.

I have tinnitus. And there are millions of people who have that. How on earth can I come to stillness when I have sounds in my ear all the time? And don’t we all hear sounds around us all the time?

But the silence that we move toward here is not a physical silence, it is a silence of ‘being’. It is like I rise above my tinnitus, or just simply ‘walk’ past it. I can often do the same with a ticking clock, or a dog that barks.

The Course says:

There is a silence into which the world cannot intrude. There is an ancient peace you carry in your heart and have not lost. There is a sense of holiness in you the thought of sin has never touched. All this today you will remember. Faithfulness in practicing today will bring rewards so great and so completely different from all things you sought before that you will know that here your treasure is, and here your rest. [CE W-164.4]

Course teacher Tara Singh wrote in his book ‘A Gift For All Mankind’:
“Each sentence of the daily lesson must bring you to silence. Then by the end, you are in a different space. There is a vitality within you that you’ve never felt before. This is the vitality of silence – the strongest experience you can ever have. Silence is not touched by words. It is a state where contradictions end and a renewal takes place.”

And that is exactly what we do every time we tap into that silence. It seems to even work in a cumulative way. Not a moment spent in silence is wasted.

To go back to the topic of silence in music: a lot of musicians and composers philosophize and think about the importance of silence in music. Not thinking about silence would in fact in my opinion be quite strange. To me silence seems the absolute foundation for every piece of music. The more the silence has a space in music, the better I think it is.

Listen for instance to ‘Part 3’, one of my favorite Keith Jarret improvisations. It is from his live album ‘The Carnegie Hall Concert’. You hear in this piece how it is built up from silence and it takes a flight and then is carried “on wings”. It all happens automatically. Jarret said the following about silence in his improvisations, in an interview:

“I start in silence, and then I have to grow into the silence. That is how the music comes to me.”

Here you can listen to this wonderful piece played by Jarrett:

A contemporary composer for whom silence is also an essential element in his music is Arvo Pärt. His piece ‘Für Alina’ is so basic, silence plays a leading role in it and this composition is breathtakingly beautiful because of it. It mainly focuses on single tones and the stillness is tangible. Here an exquisite example of this piece played by the wonderful French/Georgian pianist Kathia Buniatishvili:

If we compare this to our life, or our spiritual practice and journey, we know that silence is foundational for everyone. The question is, do we realize it and use it? Do we embrace it or do we fear it? And do we actually know that in this silence we are at Home? And that everything is perfectly okay in that peace and stillness?

I navigate more and more toward stillness, in brief moments and longer ones and I notice how beneficial it is for me.

Let me close with my absolute favorite prayer in the Course. One that helps me immediately go into silence and to trust that everything that is said in this prayer must be true:

Father, how still today! 
How quietly do all things fall in place! This is the day
that has been chosen as the time in which
I come to understand the lesson that
there is no need that I do anything. 
In You is every choice already made. 
In You has every conflict been resolved. 
In You is everything I hope to find
already given me. Your peace is mine. 
My heart is quiet, and my mind at rest. 
Your love is Heaven, and Your love is mine. [CE W-286.1]  

PS My dear friend Margaret Reyes Dempsey also wrote a post about this topic and she touches on another important issue around silence and stillness: PATIENCE! I highly recommend it: Toasting Marshmallows over a Glass-Top Stove

Love to you all, Valentine