The Robbery of the Pears – or the Desire to Destroy and Attack

And why we need the power of defenselessness

Sometimes I reflect on the world and everything happening in it, and I wonder to myself, “How do I even dare to go out on the street?” The world doesn’t feel safe to me. In my home, I feel somewhat secure, but even there, many things could go wrong.

When I think about all the wars, the poverty, and the increasing natural disasters—like last week’s intense Hurricane Helene and the devastation it caused—I feel a sharp pain in my stomach, and I am overwhelmed by a sense of helplessness. Everything is magnified; we are constantly exposed to the world’s events, and we build walls around our hearts to cope. I feel like I must always be on guard, ready to defend myself if attacked.

But as a student of A Course in Miracles (ACIM), I am taught to do the opposite! Instead of responding to attack with war or defense, ACIM asks me not to defend myself. It teaches that instead of arming myself with weapons, I should put on something completely different:

Today our theme is our defenselessness. ²We clothe ourselves in it as we prepare to meet the day. ³We rise up strong in Christ, and let our weakness disappear as we remember that His strength abides in us. ⁴We will remind ourselves that He remains beside us through the day, and never leaves our weakness unsupported by His strength. ⁵We call upon His strength each time we feel the threat of our defenses undermine our certainty of purpose. ⁶We will pause a moment as He tells us, “I am here.” [CE W-153.18]

Don’t be alarmed by the word “Christ.” It simply refers to the one true Self we all share. It is present in all of us. We are not separate from one another; we are one. When I fight with you, I also fight with myself and everyone else. This is why the wounds of war go deeper and deeper in our shared collective consciousness.

If nations attack each other with bombs, I can have an opinion about it. But I must start with myself: what attacking thoughts do I harbor, from mild irritation to intense rage?

What I see “out there” is also within me.

Have you ever heard the story of Augustine and the stolen pears? It goes like this:

There was a pear tree close to our own vineyard, heavily laden with fruit, which was not tempting either for its color or for its flavor. Late one night--having prolonged our games in the streets until then, as our bad habit was--a group of young scoundrels, and I among them, went to shake and rob this tree. We carried off a huge load of pears, not to eat ourselves, but to dump out to the hogs, after barely tasting some of them ourselves. Doing this pleased us all the more because it was forbidden. Such was my heart, O God, such was my heart--which thou didst pity even in that bottomless pit. Behold, now let my heart confess to thee what it was seeking there, when I was being gratuitously wanton, having no inducement to evil but the evil itself. It was foul, and I loved it. I loved my own undoing. I loved my error--not that for which I erred but the error itself. A depraved soul, falling away from security in thee to destruction in itself, seeking nothing from the shameful deed but shame itself.
-       Augustine “Confessions” Book Two, Chapter IV

Haven’t we all, at some point, done something simply because it felt good to attack, as Augustine describes? If we are honest, we have. Denying this or believing that others’ actions are far worse than ours is delusional. Observe your thoughts and words, and you may catch yourself being hateful, cruel, unkind, and unloving. It happens more often than you might think, and if you pay attention, you’ll notice it.

In Workbook Lesson 21 of ACIM, the idea for the day is: “I am determined to see things differently,” which fits perfectly here. The lesson states:

[…] Then close your eyes and search your mind carefully for situations past, present, or anticipated which arouse anger in you. The anger may take the form of any reaction ranging from mild irritation to rage. The degree of the emotion you experience does not matter. You will become increasingly aware that a slight twinge of annoyance is nothing but a veil drawn over intense fury. 
Try, therefore, not to let the “little” thoughts of anger escape you in the practice periods. Remember that you do not really recognize what arouses anger in you, and nothing that you believe in this connection means anything. You will probably be tempted to dwell more on some situations than on others, on the fallacious grounds that they are more “obvious.” This is not so. It is merely an example of the belief that some forms of attack are more justified than others.

As you search your mind for all the forms in which attack thoughts present themselves, hold each one in mind and tell yourself: 
I am determined to see ＿＿ [name of person] differently.
I am determined to see ＿＿ [specify the situation] differently.
[CE W-21.4]

This early Course lesson is so powerful because it forces me to recognize that if I harbor judgments about the darker figures in the world, I need to stop and examine my life and mind. The world, with its dictators, murderers, and thieves, does not need my judgment—it needs my healed perception. It needs my forgiveness, which helps both me and everyone else. If I, and other spiritual students, do not do our inner work, and then also demonstrate what we have learned in our daily life, we all will remain trapped in a collective ego loop.

When I practice lessons like these, I notice instant changes in how I feel and how people around me respond. It’s amazing. Simply recognizing my thoughts of anger and judgment, and stating, “I am determined to see this differently”, helps me see the world in a new light. It really works—you just need to keep doing it.

What a great pair of lessons I have when I combine this with Lesson 153: In my defenselessness my safety lies. [CE W-153:1]! This lesson teaches me that my true strength comes not from defending myself, but from being defenseless. Defenselessness is not vulnerability—it is immense power. As I quoted at the beginning, we “clothe” ourselves in this defenselessness like a jacket of light, feeling protected. Of course, we don’t walk into a minefield or jump off a cliff thinking we are physically invulnerable. While our bodies have limitations, we make wiser decisions when we stay in communication with the one Self we all share. From this inner dialogue, we are guided to make decisions rooted in love and a broader perspective. This way of being and decision making, that is what we learn in the Course. Its lessons are so profound! It is a fantastic training of the mind!

There is a Dutch saying that goes like this: “Je vindt geen appel onder een perenboom”. In English that is “You won't find an apple under a pear tree”. In other words, searching for the impossible is pointless. It’s pointless for me to constantly worry about all the attacks and dangers in the world and feel like I must solve everything right now. But I can change how I view things and how I move through the world.

[…] reassure your mind that all its frantic fantasies were but the dreams of fever that has passed away. Let it be still and thankfully accept its healing.
Each hour that you take your rest today, a tired mind is suddenly made glad, a bird with broken wings begins to sing, a stream long dry begins to flow again. The world is born again each time you rest and hourly remember that you came to bring the peace of God into the world, that it might take its rest along with you.
[CE W-109.6-7]

So, I will continue following my daily Course lessons, and after my moments of silence, I will carry those lessons into the world. And perhaps I will plant a pear tree, so I can share my pears with both hogs and my brothers and sisters alike!

Love, Valentine💖🍐